In the Sun
by ClaireRickman
Summary: Set AFTER Half Blood Prince. Severus looks for forgiveness and someone who loves him feels his pain.


I am feeling terribly depressed after reading Half Blood Prince. Severus Snape is my favourite character and I still love him to bits. I love this song and it sort ofsums up how I'm feeling!

* * *

She sat alone, long after the other mourners had gone off to enjoy private memories or share old anecdotes with friends. She grieved, but not only for the late Headmaster, but for the man who killed him. The man she loved.

_I picture you in the sun wondering what went wrong_

_And falling down on your knees asking for sympathy_

_And being caught in between all you wish for and all you seen_

_And trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe in_

She hoped that wherever he was, he would be trying to come to terms with what he had done. She made herself believe that he would be satisfied that his task was complete and he was looking for a way to repent. He was no longer torn between two powerful men – he had killed one of them. Was there anything at all left for him to believe in?

_May God's love be with you_

_Aways_

_May God's love be with you_

He sat alone. The deed was done, his task fulfilled. He felt empty and dead, he wanted to beg forgiveness – but from whom? Would anyone even think of forgiving him ever? He thought about the woman he had left behind. How did she feel now? It tore him apart to think about it.

_I know I would apologise if I could see your eyes_

_'Cause when you showed me myself I became someone else_

_But I was caught in between all you wish for and all you need_

_I picture you fast asleep_

_A nightmare comes_

_You can't keep awake_

She was the only person who hadn't immdeiately passed judgment when she met him for the first time. She had taken time to study him as if he were a painting with depth below the outer colours. When he was with her he dared to believe that he could be anything he wished. He has destroyed this, she would surely despise him.

_May God's love be with you_

Always

May God's love be with you

The last few days had been too much to take in all at once. She no longer felt like herself – the woman she had been before she had been told that the man she had tried to love was nothing more than a murderer. She was desperate to find someone to help her, someone she could tell about her feelings. But everyone has there own worries and no-one would understand her feelings because she didn't herself.

The scene played over and over inside his head. When he closed his eyes, when he opened them, there was barely room for any other thoughts outside what he had done. He tried to tell himself that he had done his duty and that his victim would understand, he would know why he did what he had done. He just needed someone to help him, someone he could syphon all his feelings on too. But there was no-one, he doubted even she would be prepared to listen, let alone try to understand. How could she when he didn't himself?

_I don't know anymore_

What it's for

I'm not even sure

If there is anyone who is in the sun

Will you help me to understand

Cause I been caught in between all I wish for and all I need

Maybe you're not even sure what it's for  
Any more than me

Would she see him again? What would she feel if she did? Did she still love him? How would others react towards her if they knew her feelings for him? All too many questions. All she could hope for now was that someone or something out there would protect him. May God's love be with him – always.

He knew he would pay for his crime every day of his life – however long or short it may be. Whatever they did to him if he was caught would be nothing, a mere trifle compared to the pain he suffered at the mere thought of what he did. And to add to that would she, could she forgive him? Surely not. No-one could. All he could hope for now is that someone somewhere would look after her. May God's love be with her – always.

_May God's love be with you_

Always

May God's love be with you

* * *

Thanks for reading and sharing my pain. 


End file.
